What to Expect in Your First Mediation Session
How a Guided, Supportive Start Can Ease Your Divorce Journey
Embarking on your first mediation session can feel like stepping into uncharted territory. Maybe you've Googled "divorce mediation" or spoken to a lawyer and walked away feeling even more confused or anxious. At Haas Mediation, we’re here to simplify this process and help you feel grounded and supported from the very start.
Mediation doesn’t need to be formal, intimidating, or overwhelming. In fact, our approach is the opposite—it’s centered around open conversation, practical support, and personalized guidance. This article walks you through what to expect in your first session so you can step in with confidence and clarity.
What Happens Before the First Session?
Before your first joint session, we’ll usually begin with a one-on-one Pre-Mediation Session. This is a chance to get familiar with the process and address any personal concerns you may have before sitting down together. Here's what that usually involves:
A Warm Introduction: You’ll get to know your mediator, learn about our approach, and get a feel for how we work. There’s no pressure—just a comfortable conversation.
An Overview of the Process: We’ll talk through how mediation works, how it’s different from litigation, and what kinds of decisions typically need to be made in a divorce.
Sharing the Divorce Decisions Checklist: You’ll receive a clear, organized roadmap of the decisions couples usually need to make—things like parenting plans, property division, or spousal support. You can start thinking about what matters most to you.
Clarifying What You'll Need: We’ll go over the kinds of information you’ll want to gather—like financial documents, debt details, or income information—so you’re equipped and prepared.
Space to Ask Questions Privately: This is your time to speak openly about anything that’s on your mind. Whether you're unsure about co-parenting or nervous about the financial discussions ahead, you're encouraged to ask.
This session is about taking the mystery out of mediation and showing you that the road ahead is not only manageable—but one you’ll walk with steady support.
What Can You Expect During the First Joint Session?
Your first joint mediation session is a collaborative space where you and your spouse are supported in having a productive, calm conversation that’s guided—not dictated—by your needs. Here's how it typically unfolds:
Creating a Safe Space Together
Rather than enforcing ground rules, I invite you to co-create conversation guidelines that help you feel respected and safe. These might include things like not interrupting, taking breaks when needed, or speaking with honesty and kindness. You decide what helps you communicate best—and I’m here to support that.
Choosing Where to Begin
Rather than presenting an agenda, I share the Divorce Decisions Checklist with both of you—a roadmap of all the topics couples typically discuss. Then I ask a simple but powerful question:
“Where would you like to begin?”
This ensures that we start where it feels most natural and relevant for you, not where someone else says you should start.
Flowing Conversation, Not Formal Statements
There are no opening statements required here. You're not in court. You’ll have the freedom to speak when you’re ready, in your own words. I’ll be there to guide and support the dialogue, helping keep it productive, respectful, and focused on what matters most to you both.
Collaboratively Identifying the Topics for Discussion
You and your spouse co-identify the issues you want to address during the session. This becomes your organic agenda—built by and for you.
As the session unfolds, I’ll help you move through those topics one step at a time. Often, couples choose a category from the checklist—say, parenting decisions or financial division—and go through it line item by line item, making decisions as they go.
When questions or complexities arise, I check in and offer gentle, thoughtful prompts to help you both reflect and move forward with clarity.
Real-Time Agreement Building
As you begin reaching agreements—big or small—I write them down in real time in front of you. I share my screen (or notes on paper, if we're in person) so you can see your progress take shape.
This transparency creates momentum and reassurance. Watching your own agreement come to life on the screen is more than just efficient—it’s empowering. You know you’re working toward something tangible and mutual.
What Comes Next?
Setting Goals and Next Steps
Toward the end of the session, we’ll pause to reflect:
What did we accomplish today?
What’s still left to explore?
What do you need before we meet again?
We’ll decide together whether it makes sense to schedule another session or gather more information. You’ll also have space to ask any lingering questions so you walk away feeling clear on where you are and what’s next.
What Should You Bring to Your First Session?
Here’s what can help you feel more prepared:
Any relevant documents: Financial statements, debt lists, or anything else you feel is important.
A list of key topics: What’s most important to you to address?
Your goals and concerns: Think about what outcomes would make you feel secure and respected.
An open mind: Mediation isn’t about winning—it’s about building solutions together.
A collaborative spirit: You don’t have to agree on everything. You just have to be willing to try.
The Goal of the First Session
The primary goals are to:
Create a supportive, respectful space for conversation
Begin building your personalized divorce agreement
Help you understand what’s ahead
Empower you with clarity and shared decision-making
Show you that this process can be peaceful and manageable
At Haas Mediation, our goal is to walk alongside you through every step—from the first conversation to the final paperwork. Whether or not you have children, mediation is the most empowering, affordable, and amicable path forward.
Ready to take the first step? Schedule a complimentary call today. There’s no pressure—just a conversation to help you feel supported and informed.
FAQs About Your First Mediation Session
What happens during the Pre-Mediation Session?
You’ll meet one-on-one with the mediator to go over the process, share concerns, and receive a Divorce Decisions Checklist to start preparing thoughtfully.
Do we have to follow a set agenda in the first mediation session?
No. You choose where to begin based on what feels most important. The process is guided by your needs, not a pre-set format.
Will I have to make a speech or opening statement?
Not at all. You can speak naturally and in your own time. The mediator supports an open and comfortable dialogue.
What if I’m not ready to discuss certain topics?
That’s perfectly okay. You decide the pace, and we can circle back to topics when you're ready.
Can we see the agreement being built during sessions?
Yes! Your mediator will document your agreements in real-time and share the screen or notes so you can see your progress.
What support does Haas Mediation offer after sessions?
We offer affordable drafting and filing services, so once your agreement is complete, we help you bring it into legal form—no extra stress, no handoff.
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